


Bucket List

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:19:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 17,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1856161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When tragedy strikes the happy 5SOSfam as Luke is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Michael vows to help Luke live his last years to the fullest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Luke whined into Michael’s neck, curling into the other boy.

"Mikeyyy."

"Luke, I don’t want you to get me sick, get off."

"I don’t feel good."

"No shit, that’s why we’re taking you to the hospital, like your doctor said to."

"No, I-"

He turned, grabbing a tissue from by where Calum was sitting in from of them in the car. He coughed into it before grimacing.

"Ew, not again."

"What?"

Luke lifted his tissue slightly, and Michael’s mouth opened slightly.

"Is that…Are you coughing up blood?”

"Yeah, it’s been happening for a few weeks. Gross, innit?"

"Luke, that’s not good, y-"

"I’ll be fine."

"Luke-"

Luke just leaned against Michael, closing his eyes.

“I’ll be fine.”

-:-:-:-:-

All four boys were silent, trying to comprehend what the doctor had just said. Michael looked at Luke, who had gone even paler than he already was due to being sick.

After a month of running back and forth, having tests done on the blond boy, Luke’s doctor has finally given his diagnosis.

And it was that dreaded ‘c’ word.

"Sorry, what?”

"Lung cancer, I’m sorry, I know that it’s a difficult thing to grasp, considering his age, but…well…I’m sorry."

Luke just nodded absently, and Michael felt his world crumble around his toes as the doctor went on about how unfortunately severe Luke’s case was.

"C-can’t you get rid of it?"

"Michael, if it were that easy, then I would. We can try, but…but most likely not."

And then the three boys broke down, clinging to Luke and sobbing, the youngest boy trying to comfort them all at once.

-:-:-:-:-

"Luke, what are you doing?"

Luke looked up at Michael from where he was sat on the floor, writing in a notebook.

"Making my bucket list."

"Why?"

"Well, I’ve got about a year and a half, haven’t I? ‘S what the doctors are saying. So might as well figure out what I wanna do until then and try and get it all done."

Michael sat down, leaning his head against Luke’s shoulder

"I’ll make sure you get it all done. All of it."


	2. Chapter Two

"So what’s the first thing you wanna get done on your bucket list?"

Luke glanced from Ashton, who had spoken, to the other two boys in the room, to the white board hanging in the living room. The four were lounged out in the room, watching television in silence, occasionally looking at Luke’s bucket list, which was written in permanent marker on the board so that it would not accidentally get erased.  
Luke stood, walking over to the board and picking up the marker, writing something new onto the list, his body blocking the writing until he stepped aside, nervously shifting from one foot to the other as the eyes of his bandmates darted across the board, reading his writing.

'Come out as bi' was now etched across the board, and Calum just huffed.

"You told me this last year."

"Wait, why would you tell him first?"

"Lucas loves me most."

Michael hurled a grape across the room at the brunet boy, who dodged, causing it to hit Ashton, who threw a Cheeto in retaliation. Luke giggled as they argued about who Luke loved most and so should have come out to first, throwing random bits of food and pillows. Luke took a picture of his bucket list and uploaded it to every social media he had, with the caption 'My bucket list, pay special attention to the last item because it's my announcement for the day :—) xx'. And then he was hit by a Dorito that had been misaimed.

"OI! Those are my Doritos, Michael, you ass!"

Michael just stuck his tongue out at the younger boy, and he, Calum, and Ashton began pelting Luke with food until he surrendered.

-:-:-:-:-

It was three days since Luke had come out via the internet, and nothing had really changed except for the fact that Luke could now say something when he saw a cute boy, rather than keeping it to himself.

However, Michael - alone, bored, and feeling cuddly - was trying to find the perpetually cuddly boy to be cuddled, as neither Ashton nor Calum wanted to cuddle him, as his fluffy hair always went up their noses and into their mouths, though Luke never complained, but rather just stroked Michael’s hair, which Michael wanted quite badly at the moment.

"Luuuuuuuke!"

Michael walked into Luke’s room to find the boy curled up in his bed, blankets pulled over his body, occasionally sniffling, but clearly crying to himself.

"Oh, no, Lukey…"

He walked over to Luke’s bed, lifting the covers and sliding in behind the blond ball of sobs. He turned the boy over, and Luke buried his face in Michael’s chest, still crying as the red and black haired boy just hummed soothingly, running his fingers through Luke’s hair while internally flailing in confusion as to why Luke was crying.

"What’s wrong?"

Luke just sobbed harder before shoving his phone in Michael’s face. Michael blinked at the brightness before pulling the phone from the crying boy’s shaking fingers. He looked at the screen to see Luke’s mentions on Twitter. And among the lovely messages he always got, therewas hate, filled with slurs and death threats, saying that Luke’s sexuality was the reason why he had cancer.

Michael’s blood boiled as he read message after message, growing more and more angry.

Luke hiccuped, and Michael set the phone down, wrapping his arms around Luke and kissing his forehead.

"It’s alright, they’re just asses who don’t mean anything, don’t cry Lukey."

"Why are they being mean to me? What did I do?”

"You did nothing I promise, they were just dropped on their heads as babies and ended up fucked up in the brain, okay? You’re perfectly fine, they’re the ones with the problem."

Luke nodded slightly, and Michael rubbed his back.

"You want ice cream, I got some earlier. I was gonna eat it, but you can have some."

"Yes."

"C’mon."

Michael rolled out of Luke’s bed, pulling the blond along with him, grabbing a tissue to dry his tears before taking Luke down to the kitchen, holding the other boy’s hand to comfort him. Michael sat Luke down at the table before handing him a giant bowl of ice cream. Luke smiled brightly before covering his mouth as he coughed, standing up to wash his hands, wincing.

"That hurt."

Michael’s smile faded slightly.

"Are you alright?"

"Technically speaking, no, but yeah."

Luke sat down again, resting his head against Michael’s shoulder as he ate the ice cream in front of him, Michael playing with his hair as he did so, bringing a content smile to the sick boy’s face.


	3. Chapter Three

Michael grumbled as Luke crawled into his bed, pressing his nose into the back of Michael’s shoulder.

"Go away, your nose is cold."

Luke just shifted, his ice block of a nose now in Michael’s neck.

"Yeah, and you’re warm."

“‘M not a fuckin’ space heater.”

"Yes you are."

"It’s four am, why are you even in my bed?"

Luke just hummed for a moment, as if he had to think of a response.

"Warmth and cuddles."

Michael turned around to face the other boy.

"You have Calum for that. He’s warmer anyway."

"His door is locked. Besides, you cuddle better."

Michael grinned.

"Damn right I do."

"Don’t be cocky, cuddle me you ass."

"Fine, fine. If I must."

"I’ll cry if you kick me out."

"Mmhm. Now c’mere Lukey."

Luke happily wiggled forward into Michael’s waiting arms, moving down the bed so he could bury his face in Michael’s warm chest. He sighed in contentment at the warmth now heating his cold face, snuggling closer.

"And why are you so happy?"

"Cos you’re comfy."

"I try."

Luke just laughed before looking up at Michael, who was suddenly thrown off by how close Luke’s face was to his.

"Hey, back the fuck up Hemmings. Just a bit."

Luke made a face at him, moving closer to the older boy.

"Luke, seriously."

Luke pouted, still moving closer to Michael as he tried to lean back.

"No, love me."

Michael narrowed his eyes at Luke’s protruding lower lip.

"Quit pouting."

Luke’s pout turned into a sad face, his nose bumping into Michael’s cheek.

"Love me Mikeyyyyy."

Michael just huffed, pushing Luke’s face back.

"No."

Luke whined, and Michael rolled his eyes.

"You are the most idiotic, adorable idiot.”

Luke went red, turning his head away as Michael leaned in to jokingly pepper his cute face with kisses. But due to Luke turning his head to look away from Michael, Michael’s mouth ended up colliding with Luke’s.

Luke squeaked, and Michael scooted away, bright red and not sure why. He was 500% straight, why would (accidentally) kissing Luke make him all shy? He definitely was straight.

…Right?

"Goddammit Luke, don’t move your head when I’m doing that. Now go to bed, it’s late."

Luke just nodded at Michael’s mumble, immediately closing his eyes and falling asleep within merely a few minutes.

But if he were awake for just one single second longer, he would have felt Michael softly kiss him again, on purpose this time, before shaking his head and mumbling “‘M straight…” to himself before falling asleep, arms full of Luke.


	4. Chapter Four

It had been a month since Michael had started distancing himself from Luke, and Ashton and Calum were both confused as to why, although Luke just quietly accepted it, often curling up on the other side of the couch from Michael instead of lounging across his lap like he normally would. On the thirtieth day of the two blatantly ignoring each other except for when necessary, Calum and Ashton decided to step in, Ashton going after Michael at the same time Calum did with Luke.

Michael was playing video games, alone in his room as always, when Ashton went to talk to him.

“Michael.”

Michael just grunted, focused on his game. Ashton huffed, shutting the television off.

“Don’t make noises at me when I need to talk to you.”

Michael just whined, laying down as Ashton sat next to him.

“Whaaaaat? Why are you acting like my dad or something?”

“Because I’m concerned. Why are you ignoring Luke, what happened?”

“I’m not ignor-“

Ashton glared at Michael.

“That’s just a fucking lie, you are ignoring him, now tell me why, dammit.”

“No.”

“Michael Clifford, I swear to god, if you’re making the both of you miserable for a stupid reason, I will castr-“

“Because he confuses me on something I am – or I thought I was – 100% sure about and I hate it.”

“So you’re gonna be an ass to him?”

“Look-“

“No, Michael, get your fucking head out of your ass. Whatever he’s done, drop it for a second and listen to me. He’s fucking dying. None of us want to admit it, but he coughs up blood every day and is less active because it gets too hard for him to breathe. He’s a ticking time bomb, and you’re wasting the time you have left with him, why can’t you see that?”

Michael’s mouth opened and he stared at Ashton with wide eyes.

“Ash-“

“No, you are, I’m not gonna go easy on you, you’re breaking the poor kid’s heart and you know it!”

Michael closed his eyes before letting out a small whimper. He turned over, burying his face in Ashton’s side, tears streaming down his cheeks. Ashton just rubbed his back, shushing him.

“It’ll be alright, okay? Just apologise, it’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll help you come up with an apology. Just tell me what happened, kay?”

Michael sniffled harder, before speaking, voice distorted from crying so hard onto Ashton.

“P-please don’t laugh at me.”

“I won’t.”

“He was in my bed because he was cold, and that was fine and we were messing around like usual, and I leaned in to kiss his face like a baby but he turned his head so I ended up accidentally kissing him so I made him go to sleep and then I kissed him again and I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m straight, but like…I liked it too much and it’s just fucking stressing me out and I don’t know what to do so I thought avoiding him for a bit would help, but it hasn’t and I’m just such a dick.”

“Right, so you could be bi like Luke.”

Michael made a face, shaking his head.

“Ew, no, guys are gross, I would know this. Luke just isn’t gross…he’s cute.”

“So you like Luke then.”

Michael groaned, flopping onto his stomach.

“I don’t knowwwww. Because boobs are fantastic, but so is Luke, but he doesn’t have boobs, do you see my problem?”

Ashton was silent for a moment.

“Y-you won’t ask Luke out because he doesn’t have boobs? MICHAEL CLIFFORD HOW SHALLOW ARE Y-“

“NO IT’S COS HE HAS A DICK!”

Ashton rolled his eyes, mumbling.

“You don’t necessarily have to touch it.”

“But I want to.”

Ashton looked at the multi-colour haired boy in confusion, as Michael was just innocently staring up at him.

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“Does he like me?”

“Find out yourself, Clifford.”

Michael hummed for a second in consideration before popping up off his bed and ruffling Ashton’s curls.

“Okay.”

He left the room, and Ashton just sat there in confusion as Michael went off to find Luke. As he got to Luke’s room, having made a pit stop at the kitchen to eat some cookies to try and calm his new nerves due to the fact that he was about to ask Luke to be his boyfriend, he saw Calum leaving Luke’s room, a bag of Cheetos in his hand.

“We were just talking about you. He’s sleepy, but have fun.”

Michael smiled slightly before walking in. Luke looked up at him, smiling unsurely.

“Luke, I’m sorry for being an asshole, I really am, what happened just confused me and I didn’t know how to deal with it so I ended up screwing everything up big time. I really am sorry.”

Luke just smiled brightly, clearly having accepted Michael’s apology before he had even finished saying Luke’s name.

“It’s perfectly fine Mikey, I promise.”

Michael sighed in relief, smiling at the boy lying in bed.

“Can-can I, uhm, ask you something?”

Luke fluffed his pillow that was supporting his back before looking back up at Michael.

“Shoot.”

Michael nervously shifted from one foot to the other, feeling like the cookies he had eaten were about to come right back up.

“I, I uhm, uh, Luke, will you, uhm. Will you please, uhm…g-go out with me? Like, like be my boyfriend, cos I uh, I really like you…like, quite a lot. Oh god, I sound stupid.”

By the end of his rambling proposition, Michael was staring at the floor, bright red in the face with embarrassment. He had it all planned out in his mind. Stroll into Luke’s room, smoothly ask him out, and end up with the sweetest, cutest boyfriend he could possibly have. Then he would just lovingly smother his boy with affection until he couldn’t anymore, and it would be great. But no, he fucked up and stuttered and stumbled all over his words and made a fool of himself.

“I would love to.”

Michael’s head snapped up so fast his neck burned, and he winced, rubbing it furiously while happily thinking that despite fucking up on asking Luke out, he now had the cutest boyfriend ever. Until he heard it.

“But-“

Michael shook his head furiously.

“No, no buts, please Luke.”

Luke just continued on, not looking at Michael.

“But I don’t wanna hurt you even more when I die because it’s already gonna hurt you a lot, and I don’t want that. I don’t want you to be sad.”

“Luke, I’m gonna be sad regardless, and I’ll be sad now if you really mean no.”

“Michael. I’m gonna fucking die, and I’m gonna leave you alone, and that’s a really shit thing, and if we were together, it’d be even harder on the both of us and I don’t want to put you through that, please don’t try and make me do it.”

Michael just stared at Luke, mentally begging for him to say yes, or at least that they could fucking try. But the blond boy just shook his head.

“No, Michael. I’m sorry.”

“O-okay. C-can we cuddle anyway though?”

Luke smiled, nodding, opening his arms, and Michael crawled onto Luke’s bed, snuggling into his arms. Even if he couldn’t have Luke Hemmings as his boyfriend, at least he was one of his best friends and his favourite cuddle buddy.


	5. Chapter Five

The night Luke said no to Michael, Michael had decided that he wouldn’t give up on the blond boy.

Because, c’mon, the boy wasn’t gonna make him question his sexuality for a month and then not get even one date with him. That would just be ridiculous.

So, in the three days that had passed, Michael had asked Luke out - and been denied - two hundred and fifty-seven times, plus his original, butchered attempt. For some reason, Calum found it hilarious, and was keeping a tally of it on the whiteboard in the living room, next to Luke’s bucket list. So this was how Michael knew just how many times he had tried to ask Luke to be his boyfriend.

And now he was trying yet again, but with toast that he had cut to spell out ‘DATE ME?’ on Luke’s plate. Luke stared at it before looking at Michael.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Calum quickly ran to the board to gleefully add more tallies, giggling as Michael repeatedly begged and Luke repeatedly rejected him for fifteen minutes straight until the total was now at three hundred and seventeen. So Michael tried one more time, bringing it to three hundred and eighteen.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeease?”

"Yes."

"WHAT?"

And then Michael Clifford fainted from shock. Luke let out a terrified squeal, sliding out of his seat to crouch next to Michael, patting his cheek repeatedly.

"Mikey? Are you alright? Oh shit. Oh fuck. Ohnoohnoohnoohno. ASHTON! ASH I BROKE HIM, HELP!"

Ashton walked in from the bathroom, toothbrush still in his mouth.

"What’d you do?"

"I said yes, and he passed out, and I think I broke him, oh god, Ashton, we’re together for literally two seconds and he passes out!"

Ashton walked around the fretting boy, rolling his eyes before lightly kicking Michael’s side with his socked foot.

"Clifford, get up, your boyfriend is freaking out."

Michael just smacked Ashton’s foot, annoyed at the nineteen year old for kicking him.

"Fuck off."

Ashton just huffed as he walked back to the bathroom.

"Rude."

"Shut up!"

"NYEH!"

Michael sat up, poking Luke’s cheek so he would stop hovering and give Michael room to actually get up. At which point Luke became a leech and all but fused himself to Michael’s back.

"Luke, what are you doing?"

"Clinging."

"Why?"

"Cos my toast went cold so now I’m really hungry."

"You should have eaten it when I gave it to you."

"But-"

"I’ll make you more, get off me."

Luke detached himself from Michael, kissing his cheek as Michael began making toast again, happily grinning about his new relationship status as he cut the toast into hearts.


	6. Chapter Six

Luke awoke from his daily nap to Michael repeatedly kissing him all over his face. Luke just giggled, pulling Michael down on top of him.

"Hi."

Michael smiled, kissing Luke’s nose.

"We’ve been together for a month and I still haven’t taken you on a date. I’m a horrible boyfriend."

"I took you on one."

"It was nice, ice cream is a good date."

Luke just smiled, and Michael gently nudged him.

"So are you up for it, or do you wanna stay here and watch a movie and cuddle? I was thinking that we could go to the fair if you’re up for it, although staying in and cuddling is fine too."

"No, I wanna go."

"Then we’ll go."

Luke cheered, and Michael smiled fondly.

"You’re so cute."

"Shut up Mikey. So when are we going?"

"Whenever you want."

"Now, I wanna go now."

Michael laughed at Luke’s excited expression.

"Babe, we’re half naked."

Luke sighed over dramatically, getting out of his bed as Michael rolled away from him.

"Go get dressed, give me ten minutes."

Michael just giggled, poking Luke’s bum as he went back to his room, giggling harder as Luke jokingly shook his backside while digging through his dresser after Michael had poked him.

By the time Michael got Ashton to drive them to the fair like he had said he would, an hour and a half had passed, and Michael was getting quite hungry.

"Luke, I’m starving, let’s get food."

Michael grabbed the sleeve of Luke’s flannel, pulling him towards the food booths.

"What do you want?"

"Do they have cheese fries?"

"Probablyyyyyy…yes. It’s on the sign, see?"

"Then I want cheese fries. And a cheeseburger."

"Pepsi?"

"Mmhm."

"Okay, go find a table Lucas."

Luke stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend before heading off to the tables to find a seat for them.

-:-:-:-:-

Luke tugged Michael’s hand so that he would look away from a little girl who was excitedly talking about Michael’s hair to her older brother.

"Can we go on the Ferris Wheel?"

Michael looked at it, checking the time to see how long they had until Ashton came to drive them back home.

"Yeah, okay."

Luke grinned, pulling Michael over to the ride. After a few minutes of waiting, they got on, and Luke cuddled into Michael as they watched the people on the ground, children running to their next ride, and their parents running after them.

"I wanted kids someday."

Michael looked at Luke and smiled, kissing his cheek.

"You’d be a cute mum."

Luke whined.

"Why am I the mum?”

Michael just laughed at his adorable pouting face, kissing him before answering.

"Cos I’m the dad."

"No fair."

"You can be the daddy then."

"Daddy’s cuter than dad anyway."

Michael rolled his eyes in mock-offense.

"Whatever you say Lucas."

Luke just giggled, and like a good boyfriend, Michael helped him off the ride once it had stopped, holding out his hand again as they silently decided to get ice cream. As Luke began happily devouring his sundae, he spotted a giant stuffed penguin at a balloon popping game.

"MikeyMikeyMikey."

Michael looked at Luke, mouth full of ice cream.

"Mm?"

Luke pointed at the giant penguin.

"Can I go try and win it?"

"It’s on your bucket list, of course."

Luke practically inhaled the rest of his ice cream before tugging Michael along to the game. Michael gave the woman five dollars, and Luke got his three darts. After three tries, Luke was clearly distressed about how badly he was doing and how far he was from getting his giant penguin.

"Let me try for you Luke."

Luke nodded miserably, stepping to the side. Ten minutes and twenty darts later, Michael proudly presented Luke with the six foot tall penguin with a kiss.

"Is this what you wanted?"

Luke just bounced on his toes, grinning, his arms wrapped securely around the penguin. He kissed Michael, thanking him repeatedly. Michael just smiled, happy that he could make Luke so happy with such a simple thing. His phone rang, and it was Ashton, telling them to hurry up and get in the car because it was getting extremely dark and kind of cold. So Michael took Luke’s giant penguin, and got the younger boy onto his back, as Luke’s sickness was starting to make him tired again once the adrenaline from being at the fair started to die down. He rested his face in Michael’s shoulder, and by the time Michael got to Ashton’s car, Luke was snoring softly on his back.

Michael sighed softly, sticking Luke’s penguin in one of the back seats, Luke next to it. Luke immediately rested his head on the penguin, dead asleep. Ashton tossed Michael a blanket, and Michael carefully covered Luke with it, making sure he was comfortable before getting into the passengers’ seat next to Ashton, who had the radio turned down to a minimum.

And as Michael carried his sleeping boyfriend and a six foot penguin into the house, he couldn’t help but smile madly at how good of a night they had shared together and how much he would like that forever.


	7. Chapter Seven

Michael sleepily woke up as Luke slid into bed behind him, resting his nose into Michael’s neck. He figured Luke just wanted to cuddle until he fell asleep, so he closed his eyes again, scooting closer to the younger boy. But his eyes flew open when he heard Luke sniffle before burying his face in the back of Michael’s shoulder. And Michael wasn’t dumb enough to not realise that his Luke was crying.

"Luke?"

Luke just let out a soft whimper and Michael immediately turned around, wrapping his arms around the blond, hushing him.

"No, hush, it’s alright, what’s wrong?"

"I can’t get fixed, can I?"

"Huh?"

"I’m dying and that’s just it, I’m gonna die and it can’t be stopped, I can’t get fixed. I don’t wanna die Mikey, I don’t wanna."

Luke hiccuped, sobbing harder, and Michael’s heart completely shattered. Tears began rolling down his cheeks as he held Luke tighter.

"Shh, it’s alright Lukey, it’s okay. Y-you’re gonna be fine."

Luke hit Michael in the chest.

"No I’m not, stop lying to me to make yourself feel better!"

Michael’s breath caught, and he squeezed Luke slightly.

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry Luke."

“‘S not your fault.”

Michael rested his face in Luke’s hair, breathing slowly, just rubbing Luke’s back and letting Luke cry into his chest.

"You’re still here, you don’t deserve to cry. I don’t want you to be sad."

Luke sniffled before looking up at Michael and frowning. He lifted his hand to wipe away the tears on Michael’s cheeks as he spoke.

"I didn’t mean to make you cry."

Michael just laughed slightly.

"I’m only crying because you’re sad and it’s making me sad, stop crying you moron."

Luke pouted, rubbing his eyes dry.

"Meanie."

"Only cos you’re cute."

Luke stuck his tongue out at Michael before kissing him.

"Dumbest reason to be mean."

"Is not."

"Don’t argue with me."

Michael pouted and Luke giggled, kissing him again.

"How cute."

"I’m not cute."

"Yes you are."

Michael huffed, rolling them over and carefully pinning Luke down.

"Not cute."

Luke just smiled.

"You’re fucking adorable."

"I am manly as fuck."

"Prove it."

"What?"

Luke went pink as he repeated himself.

"Prove it."

Michael stared down at him with bated breath, until Luke spoke again.

"I mean, unless you’re not as manly as you say that you won’t even-"

"Oh, shut up you dummy, I will prove it."

-:-:-:-:-

"OH THERE YOU TWO ARE!"

Luke jumped behind Michael at Ashton’s annoyed shout. He peeked around the fluffy boy before noticing that Ashton looked grumpy and tired. And that Calum was asleep on the floor.

"What?"

"You two. You were fucking all night and kept us up!"

"It wasn’t all-“

Michael crossed his arms.

"You’re just grumpy cos you didn’t get laid."

"I am not."

"Yes you are."

"That has nothing to do with it, I just wanted to sleep."

"I was comforting him."

"With your dick?"

"Yes, it does wonders."

And with that, Michael took Luke’s hand and pulled him out of the house so they could go to McDonald’s.


	8. Chapter Eight

Michael shook Luke’s shoulder, kissing him gently as he woke the boy from his nap.

“Mmf?”

“It’s time for your chemo, Luke.”

Luke made a distressed noise, rolling over.

“Please, no.”

“It’s supposed to help you babe, please?”

Luke whimpered before rolling out of bed, wrapping his arms around Michael.

“’S not fun.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Michael brought him downstairs, getting ready to give him the shot as Luke scrolled through Twitter.

“Ready?”

“I say no every day.”

Michael sighed softly, and Luke set his phone down, Michael kissing his nose as Luke looked up at the fluffy haired boy.

“You know it only hurts a bit.”

“The shot, yeah.”

Michael sighed again, giving Luke the chemotherapy shot. Luke winced, and Michael felt a twinge of guilt from hurting his boyfriend.

“Sorry.”

“’S fine.”

Michael smiled slightly, yet his smile was clearly fake from seeing his Luke in pain.

-:-:-:-:-

Michael got up off of the couch, walking to the bathroom. Luke had gotten up from their cuddle session to go to the bathroom half an hour ago, but he still had not come back to their cuddle ball. Michael was finally done with waiting, almost sick with worry in case Luke had passed out or something along those lines. He knocked on the bathroom door, softly calling Luke’s name.

“No!”

“Luke-”

“I’m not coming out!”

Michael half considered making a joke about how Luke had already ‘came out’, but then his extreme concern set in again, and he knocked harder.

“Lucas Robert Hemmings, you tell me what’s wrong right now so I can help you!”

The door unlocked, and Michael opened it, stepping inside and looking at Luke, who appeared to be quite distraught at whatever current situation that he was in.

“Luke…”

Luke wrapped his arms around Michael, burying his face in the older boy’s chest. Michael rubbed his back, still confused as Luke seemed to be fine and unhurt, or at least he did physically.

“What’s wrong?”

Luke stepped back, closing his eyes in shame as he ran his fingers through his quiff, several clumps of hair coming out with his fingers. He shook his hand, and Michael watched as they floated to the floor, joining other clumps of Luke’s blond hair, which he had not previously noticed, having been to concerned about Luke’s wellbeing.

“Oh, no, Luke.”

Luke made a choked sound as he opened his eyes again.

“I’m scared to brush my hair, I don’t wanna shave my head.”

“It looks like you have to, you have little bald spots now that I look.”

“NO!”

“Luke-“

“I don’t wanna look like I have cancer, people can look at me and not know, if my head is shaved then they will!”

“I’ll shave my head too?”

Luke just stared at Michael, mouth agape.

“But I love your hair.”

“It’s damaged as fuck anyway, and that’ll fix it.”

Luke just mumbled, running his fingers through Michael’s hair.

“I love your hair.”

“It’s just hair. Yours isn’t that important either.”

“But-”

Michael smiled, kissing Luke softly.

“Everyone likes you for more than your hair.”

“Okay.”

“We can get you some cute wigs anyway.”

Luke giggled, clearly cheered up at the thought of wigs.

“You think Lou could make one that looks like my hair?”

“If she can’t, we’ll get someone who can.”

“Yay.”

Michael smiled at Luke’s happy mood, teasing him lightly.

“Your scalp probably glows in the dark.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“My hair is thinning due to all the hair dye, it sees the sun whenever I leave the house!”

Luke laughed.

“Bald boyfriend.”

“You’re gonna be the bald boyfriend.”

Luke stuck his tongue out at Michael, walking out of the bathroom.

“I’m going to the kitchen, it’ll be easier to clean up the hair in there.”

“Yessir. I’ll find the buzzer.”

Michael began rummaging around, finally finding it under the sink. He went downstairs to see Luke sitting on a stool, swinging his feet.

“You’re so cute.”

Luke just smiled, lifting his head for a kiss and pouting when Michael walked past him to plug in the buzzer.

“Hey!”

Michael laughed, kissing Luke before burying his face in Luke’s blond hair one last time before turning on the buzzer.

“Right, so your punishment for being so damn cute is baldness.”

Luke laughed, and Michael smiled, patting his hair.

“It’ll grow between your chemo treatments though.”

“Will you still like me when I am eyebrowless?”

“Of course I will. Ready?”

“Mmhm.”

Michael raised the buzzer before laughing. He carefully shaved the sides of Luke’s head, leaving the hair in the middle.

“You could have a Mohawk.”

“Goddammit Michael.”

Michael just giggled, shaving the rest of Luke’s head, kissing his newly revealed skin when he finished.

“You don’t have to worry about washing your hair anymore. Or bad hair days. Lucky.”

Luke smiled, running his hands over his head.

“Damn, my head feels soft.”

“Like a baby’s butt.”

“Or Calum’s.”

“No touching Calum’s ass.”

Luke laughed, standing to kiss Michael.

“I’ll just touch your ass then.”

“Oh, shut up Hemmings.”

Luke smiled, hugging Michael.

“You love me.”

“Not yet I don’t.”

“I hope you never do.”

Michael sighed.

“Luke, quit saying shit like that.”

“I just don’t wanna die and leave you alone if you’re in love than me.”

“Then don’t.”

Michael cringed as soon as he spoke.

“I can’t fucking help it, if I could, I’d never leave you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Luke just smiled, resting his face against Michael’s neck and breathing slowly.

“Can we just go cuddle now? Since I’ve now lost all my hair and everything.”

Michael laughed.

“Of course.”

“Carry me.”

Michael rolled his eyes.

“You’re so impossible Hemmings.”

Luke just laughed, and Michael lifted the lanky seventeen year old boy in his arms and carried him back up to their room – Michael had essentially moved into Luke’s rooms it would be easier for him to take care of the sick boy (and to make cuddling easier) – so that they could finish their movie and cuddle session.


	9. Chapter Nine

"Where are we going?"

Michael smiled as he pulled Luke along, making sure Luke’s beanie covered his eyes.

"You’ll see. Now, hold on."

Michael picked him up, and Luke sighed, knowing how dumb he probably looked with the beanie over half of his face.

"Mikey, honestly, how dumb do I look?"

Michael was silent for a moment before laughing.

"Very. But it’s a cute dumb, I promise."

Luke huffed.

"Bullshit. …It smells like the beach."

Michael tugged Luke’s beanie up, and Luke blinked as his eyes adjusted to the weakening sunlight reflecting off of the water and sand.

"I figured we should cross this off your bucket list before it gets too cold."

Michael set his boyfriend down, and Luke quickly took off his shoes and socks, tossing them into the nearby tent that Michael had set up prior to bringing Luke to the beach.

"So…are we camping out?"

"Basically."

Michael’s shoes and socks joined Luke’s, and he sat next to Luke on the towel placed on the sand.

"You aren’t cold, are you?"

Luke smiled, shaking his head and leaning into Michael.

"Mikey, I’m fine."

Michael smiled, resting his head on Luke’s shoulder, and they talked aimlessly as the day succumbed to night around them, the two boys only noticing when fireworks lit up the sky in a mass array of colours, loud cheering coming from quite far down the beach. Luke had jumped, almost into Michael’s lap, and Michael sighed, kissing Luke’s cheek and mumbling.

"Fuckin’ drunk morons."

Luke giggled, standing and pulling Michael up.

"Let’s go by the water."

"You aren’t going in the water, you’ll get sick."

"I said by the water, not in the water, you moron.”

"Rude."

Luke just laughed, pulling Michael along to the water. Michael yelped as it touched his toes, jumping back as Luke rolled up his jeans.

"That’s fucking cold!"

"That’s because it’s winter."

Michael huffed, walking towards Luke and then running away as the water came towards him again.

"Are you scared of the water Clifford?"

"No! It’s just freezing!"

Luke laughed, kicking water towards Michael, who yelped as it hit him.

"You ass!"

He ran at Luke, who laughed, running out of the water.

"Look out behind you Mikey!"

"What?"

And then a wave crashed against Michael’s back, soaking his clothes. He screamed at the cold water hitting him before taking off running back to the tent, Luke following him and laughing the whole way.

"Luke Hemmings, you are an asscake!"

Luke just laughed harder as Michael stripped, drying himself with a towel.

"Asscake? Your insults are so cute."

Michael huffed, turning towards a suitcase in their tent, walking over to it to find some underwear.

"No."

He turned towards Luke, quite confused, and still naked apart from the towel hanging on his hips.

"What?"

Luke grinned, moving towards his boyfriend.

"Don’t bother getting dressed. Just yet anyway."

Luke kissed Michael, tossing the older boy’s towel to the side. Michael mumbled as Luke’s hands ran down Michael’s almost embarrassingly pale body.

"But…we’re outside."

"It’s dark and no one can see inside this tent."

Luke’s hands finally reached what he was looking for, and he turned his head, blowing out the candle next to them that Michael had lit to better illuminate the tent, although there was a dim lantern by the zipped up entrance. Luke began sucking a bruise into Michael’s pale neck, slowly stroking his hand along Michael’s cock, Michael quickly growing hard in Luke’s hand.

"Fuck, Luke…"

Luke just smiled, quite pleased with himself. He kissed Michael before sinking to his knees, satisfied with how hard he had managed to get Michael in his hand. Luke pulled his beanie off - as the tent was actually quite stuffy and he needed to cool down to breathe better - before taking Michael’s cock into his mouth, tongue slowly sliding along the head. Michael moaned softly, resting his hands on Luke’s shoulders and closing his eyes in content pleasure.

Luke pulled off of Michael for a moment to breathe properly, clearing his throat before taking Michael’s cock back into his mouth, happily going back to his previous task. Luke slowly bobbed his head so that he could maintain his steady breathing pattern, doing his best to use his tongue to make up for his slow pace, not that Michael minded at all. Michael began slowly thrusting his hips forward into Luke’s mouth, being careful not to hurt him.

Going nice and slow was good enough for Michael, who quite enjoyed it - as it was almost like torture - as he was soon coming, moaning out Luke’s name and grabbing at Luke’s hair. Or, rather, that’s what he intended to do. Instead, his knuckles just grazed against Luke’s bare head, and tears pricked his eyes.

"Dammit."

Michael rubbed at his eyes with his fists, a tear escaping his fierce eye-rubbing and sliding down his cheek, embarrassed that he was fucking crying after getting a blowjob.

"Mikey?"

"I’m fine."

Luke stood, giggling as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Didn’t know that I was so good at giving head that I could make you cry."

Michael laughed, still rubbing at his eyes.

"You’re a moron Luke."

Luke grabbed Michael’s hands, kissing him.

"C’mon, don’t cry. I’m not dead yet, I’m not leaving you for a while. I promise. At least another year I’ll stick around. Just to bother you.”

Michael just laughed, sniffling slightly, and Luke turned, grabbing a blanket and putting it on his head.

"Look, my hair is 100% polyester Mikey, feel, it’s warm."

Michael giggled as Luke paraded around the tend, flipping his “hair” as Michael got dressed in pajamas.

"You’re such an idiot, why do I lo-date you again?"

Luke just grinned, flipping the blanket over his shoulder once more.

"Because I am fuckin’ fabulous in bed.”

"Yeah, you’re definitely pretty damn fabulous with a dick up your ass.”

Luke huffed, putting his hands on his hips.

"You’re the one with a dick up your ass half the time!"

"The other half it’s you!”

"Yes, Michael, we’ve established this already."

Michael stuck his tongue out at Luke, who just flicked it. Michael yelped, covering his mouth and glaring at his boyfriend.

"Hey!"

Luke just laughed, adjusting his blanket-wig.

“That’s what ya get”

"This is no time for Paramore, Lucas."

Luke pouted, and Michael rolled his eyes.

"That’s enough, let’s go to bed you moron."

Luke pulled the blanket off of his head, peeling his skinny jeans off and putting on the sweatpants that Michael tossed at him.

He crawled into the large sleeping bag, reaching out for Michael and waiting for the older boy to join him for cuddles and sleep.


	10. Chapter Ten

Michael was laying flat on his back in bed, gently rubbing Luke’s back. The seventeen - eighteen in a few hours - year old boy was laying partially on top of Michael, hid head and chest on top of the other boy’s torso as they laid in the quiet room, Michael deep in thought about the short remaining future he had with Luke. But, in particular, he was thinking about one thing.

 

"Luke?"

"Mm?"

"Oh, did I wake you up?"

"No, I can’t sleep anyway. What is it?"

"Remember when you told me that you wanted kids?"

"Yeah. I did, anyway."

"What about now."

Luke adjusted his head on Michael’s chest, listening to his heart’s beating.

"Of course. I just…wouldn’t be able to take care of then like a father should."

"I could."

"You’re gonna have to take care of me though."

Michael hummed as he thought over what Luke had just said.

"What…what if we adopted…like…a five year old so they could help a bit?"

Luke was silent for a moment as two parts of his brain argued with each other over whether he was fit to help raise a child or not.

"I’d love to, but…well, can I think about it for a bit?"

"Of course."

Michael smiled, tracing small hearts on Luke’s back.

"Take all the time you need Luke. It’s fine."

"You know it’d take a while to actually adopt a child, right?"

"That’s why I asked now."

"Smart boy."

"I gotta be, if I chose you."

Luke laughed, turning a slight shade of pink.

"You make it sound like I’m a Pokémon or some shit."

Michael giggled.

"What Pokémon would you like to be Lukey?"

"Well, Goldeen’s just useless."

"Rude. What if you were Nosepass?"

"I’m offended."

Michael laughed, kissing Luke’s head.

"Be Ditto, you could be whatever you want."

"True."

Michael smiled, patting Luke’s back.

"Alright, go to bed Ditto."

-:-:-:-:-

Luke sleepily walked into the kitchen, suddenly ending up with a cupcake smushed against his cheek.”

"Oi!"

Calum just laughed, pushing the cupcake against Luke’s face more.

"Merry Birthday Lucas!"

And then mini-cupcakes were being pelted at the birthday boy by his brothers, best friends, and boyfriend.

"Hey!"

"Eat cupcake Hemmings!"

Luke covered his face, trying to shield himself from the onslaught of flying cupcakes.

"Boys, stop throwing cupcakes in the house!"

The cupcakes stopped immediately at the sound of Liz’s voice from the living room, one just falling from the air before it hit Luke.

"Why were you throwing cupcakes at me?"

Michael just grinned, setting his last cupcake down.

"Happy Birthday!"

Luke smiled, walking across the room and kissing him.

"No PDA in here!"

Fwap.

Jack had thrown a cupcake, which had made direct impact with Luke’s bald head.

"Hey!"

"I said no cupcake throwing in the house, Jack!"

Luke just laughed as his older brother was yelled at before running to the bathroom, leaving the other five to clean the mess they had made while he showered, the thought of breakfast forgotten.

-:-:-:-:-

"Lukey! Do you want your cake now or later?"

Luke looked up at Michael from the couch.

"Now."

Michael smiled, grabbing Liz’s hand and pulling her along to the kitchen to help him light the candles.

Luke smiled at the thought of cake before grimacing as he felt a cough building up. He got up, grabbing a tissue and practically hacking up his cancerous lungs into it. Or at least, that’s what it felt - and sounded - like. Michael practically sprinted in from the kitchen, rubbing Luke’s back as he coughed.

"Are you alright?"

"I’m fine, don’t worry."

Luke tossed the now red tissue into the trash before going into the bathroom to quickly wash his hands. As sion as he went back into the living room, Calum was pulling him along into the kitchen.

The cake was sitting on the kitchen table, in front of a chair, which Michael was standing behind as he finished lighting the nineteen candles. Eighteen for Luke’s birthday, and one for good luck - which he quite needed.

Luke sat down, and Michael kissed the top of his head, whispering.

"Happy Birthday, Ditto."

Luke smiled, and the room began singing Happy Birthday, and quite badly despite the three singers loudly projecting their voices. Or, perhaps it was purposefully bad because of them.

Luke felt the need to couch again, but he figured that he could hold it in at least until the song was finished. So Luke held his breath. Which just made him dizzy, so he looked down at his cake, trying to keep his cough back like they were hiccups, which probably wasn’t the best thing, because he blinked and then was waking up in the hospital. And with quite a dry feeling in his mouth, which was almost gross.

"Ew."

He turned his head, patting Michael, who was dead asleep - of course - in a chair next to him, head falling forwards onto his chest.

"Mikey."

Michael’s head snapped up as he jolted himself awake at the sound of Luke’s voice, looking at him in concern.

"Are you alright, what’s wrong?"

Luke just smiled slightly.

"Nothing, I was just thirsty."

Michael nodded, getting up to grab a water bottle from the other side of the room.

"The doctors were talking about putting you on an oxygen tank."

"What? Why?"

"You passed out due to lack of oxygen when you shouldn’t have, so if you’re on a tank, then you won’t. It’s just being safe."

"I was holding my breath cos I didn’t wanna cough and ruin the happy moment, I’m fine."

Michael shook his head as he passed Luke the water.

"You’re usually able to hold your breath for longer anyway, and you never pass out from tha-"

"Mikey, please, not yet, I’ll get one later if I really do need it, I’m breathing just fine right now."

Michael stared at him for a moment, biting his lip.

"Tell Liz, not me. I’ll be right back, okay?"

Luke nodded, and Michael left the room as Liz walked in.

Michael then zoomed downstairs and outside as fast as he could, returning about fifteen minutes later with a proud expression as he walked back into Luke’s hospital room.

Luke looked up from a game of Scrabble with Ashton and Calum, who were arguing about whether or not Ashton could put ‘SOS’ next to where Calum had ‘FIVE’.

"What’s that?"

Michael looked down at the ice cream cake in his hands, grinning.

"Happy Birthday."

Luke’s brothers came in with plates, forks, and balloons, and Luke’s mouth opened.

The others quickly caught on, and they began singing as Michael set the cake down in front of Luke.

“Happy Birthday to you  
Happy Birthday to you  
Happy Birthday dear Lukey  
Happy Birthday to you”

Everyone was all smiles as they ate the cake, and despite the fact that they were celebrating his eighteenth birthday in a hospital room, Luke actually felt normal again.

After the cake was completely devoured, Michael leant over to kiss Luke.

Happy Birthday Ditto.”


	11. Chapter Eleven

Luke rolled over as his phone vibrated on the table next to his hospital bed. He poked Michael, who was closer to it, mumbling sleepily, still full of cake.

"Can you hand me that?"

Michael grabbed Luke’s phone, shoving his head under Luke’s pillow, falling asleep again.

Luke winced as his screen lit up as he unlocked it, the 0% brightness level still hurting his eyes. He looked at the text he had just received, smacking Michael in the side.

"Mikey!"

Michael just groaned, sounding quite like a disgruntled whale.

"Don’t you make noises at me, get up."

Michael rolled over, looking at Luke through barely open eyes.

"What? ‘M sleepy."

"Read this."

Luke practically shoved his phone in Michael’s face. Michael winced, pushing it back.

‘Alex ATL  
Saw your bucket list and I figured I could help with two items. Closest shows are today and tomorrow, or we could figure out some other time. Let me know bro’

"Luke, you’re stuck in the hospital for like three more days, just in case."

"I wanna go tonight."

"It’s seven in the morning."

"So?"

Luke scrambled out of bed, poking his head out into the hallway as Michael fell asleep again.

-:-:-:-:-

"I don’t know how you managed to get them to let you leave."

Luke smiled, playing with Michael’s hair as he laid his head on Luke’s shoulder.

"I described it as a work emergency."

"You would."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

Luke pouted, and Michael just smiled, kissing him.

"How cute."

"Don’t call me cute

"Why not?"

"It makes me feel less manly."

Michael just stared at him in disbelief.

"Luke."

"What?"

"You wear a fluffy pink tutu around the house sometimes."

Luke just huffed, crossing his arms.

"You said I look nice in it. Besides, making my boyfriend happy is very manly."

"You do look nice in it.”

"Exactly."

Alex ran into the room, having needed to dash into the bathroom.

"Sorry, had to take a -"

Michael covered Luke’s ears, and Luke rolled his eyes, batting them away. Alex sat down across from them, leaning back in his chair.

"Okay, so what song are you standing in for me on?"

”’Remembering Sunday’.”

"So, are you gonna sing that as the track too?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds good to me. We’ve got just over two hours before soundcheck, so you should come and practice it until then."

Luke wiggled out of Michael’s arms, Alex pulling him up, much to Michael’s fake annoyance.

"How dare you take away my pillow?"

As soon as Michael spoke, Alex tossed a pillow at his face, dragging Luke away to the rest of the band.

-:-:-:-:-

Luke slowly walked on stage, slightly nervous. But then the 5SOS fans in the crowd screamed, Michael cheering from side stage. Luke looked at him, and he made a shooing motion towards the stool being set down in front of the centre microphone. Alex patted him on the back, and Luke sat down adjusting the microphone to his monstrous height, saying a soft “Hello.”

Alex leant over, speaking into the microphone.

"For those of you who don’t know, this is Luke Hemmings, and he’s gonna let me have a break from singing by doing a song for you. Lucas?"

Luke just smiled, and they began playing.

“He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes  
Started making his way past two in the morning  
He hasn’t been sober for days”

As Luke sang, Michael watched from the side of the stage, singing along. Luke looked at him, grinning at the sight of his boyfriend’s large smile as he radiated pride.

“I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt, now the rain is just  
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind  
Keeping an eye on the world,  
So many thousands of feet off the ground, I’m over you now   
I’m at home in the clouds, and towering over your head  
Well, I guess I’ll go home now…  
I guess I’ll go home now…  
I guess I’ll go home now…  
I guess I’ll go home”

The crowd cheered, and Luke looked delighted, grinning. He looked at Michael, who was bawling his eyes out, and reached his arms out to the crying boy. Zack dragged Michael over, and Luke wrapped his arms around him.

"My poor baby."

"I’m older than you."

"Hush."

Michael smiled, kissing him. Jack and Rian cooed at them while Alex yelled into Jack’s microphone.

"Get a damn room, there are fucking children here! Goddammit, I’m fucking trying to make a good impression!"

"Cos swearing does that."

"Oh, shut it Clifford."

-:-:-:-:-

Michael scooted Luke’s side, kissing his cheek and passing Luke one of the bowls of ice cream he had gotten up to get. They ate it as they watched some bad chick flick, commenting on the awful acting every two minutes or so. It was mostly Michael though, as Luke was in deep thought, like he had been since his birthday.

At probably three in the morning, they finally got up to go to bed, snuggled together under the blankets.

"Mikey?"

"Mmhm?"

"You know the adoption thing you asked me about?"

"Of course. You get to decide though, so take your time."

Luke shifted slightly, biting his lip nervously.

"I’ve made my decision."


	12. Chapter Twelve

Luke reached over as they walked down the hallway, taking Michael’s hand. Michael just squeezed it, smiling at him. The woman they were following opened a door, and a small girl immediately popped up in front of them.

"Hi!"

Luke stared at her, his mouth opened slightly. Michael dropped his hand to rub circles on his back, smiling at the girl.

"Hi. Uhm, you ready to go?"

"Yup. I can bring my teddy bear, right?"

"Of course."

She bounced off into her room, and Luke looked at Michael.

"She is the most adorable little girl I’ve ever seen."

"She’s your daughter too."

A grin lit up Luke’s face. Every time that Michael had gone to visit her, Luke had to go to the hospital, so this was his first time meeting her.

The small girl walked out, holding her suitcase, teddy bear tucked under one arm. She grabbed Michael’s hand, peering up at Luke curiously.

"You’re big."

"You’re a munchkin."

She just grinned, spinning.

"I represent, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild. And in the name of the Lollipop Guild, I wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land."

Luke smiled, reaching over and picking her up. She looked down at the ground and squeaked, clutching onto Luke.

"I’m so far off the ground."

"You’ll get used to it."

She just nodded, and Michael picked up her suitcase.

"So, where to, Munchkin?"

She smiled, tucking her face into Luke’s neck.

"Can we get food?"

"Of course."

The five year old cheered as they left the building, and Luke set her into her carseat, kissing her forehead.

"Do you like McDonald’s?"

"With all of my elbow."

Michael snorted, and they got into the front, driving to the McDonald’s by their house, taking their new daughter inside.

As she was sat on her stool, swinging her legs back and forth while munching on one of Luke’s french fries, she looked between the two of them.

"So, I have two daddies now, right?"

"Yup."

A look of confusion grew on her face, and Michael and Luke looked at each other, anticipating the ‘Why not a mommy and a daddy?’ question.

"But…If I yell ‘Daddy’, how will you tell which one of you that I’m calling for?"

Luke blinked, and Michael smiled.

"You call us by different names-"

She sighed.

"I’m not calling anyone Papa, that sounds like it should be for an old man."

Michael laughed, and Luke whispered to her, pointing at Michael.

"If it’s for an old man, call him Papa."

"Hey, I heard that!"

The small girl giggled as Michael tossed a french fry at Luke, who ate it. Michael looked at her again, gesturing to Luke and then himself.

"Daddy, Dad."

"Why is he Daddy?"

"He’s cuter."

She just giggled.

"You’re cute too though, Dad, don’t worry."

"I agree with you."

Michael huffed, crossing his eyes.

"No, I am a man."

Within five minutes, Luke had helped his daughter to remove the bow from her hair and place it on Michael’s head. She smiled happily, adjusting it slightly from where she was sitting in Michael’s lap.

"Now you’re a pretty man!”

She and Luke broke into a fit of giggles while Michael just pouted at them, but didn’t remove the bow.

-:-:-:-:-

"I’ve made my decision."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So…what do you say?"

Luke rolled over, resting his head on Michael’s chest.

"I wanna adopt a child with you."

Michael’s face lit up, and he kissed Luke, squeezing him.

"I’m excited."

-:-:-:-:-

"Michael, her room is just right this way."

Michael smiled, following the woman through the many twisting hallways of the orphanage until they got to a room that had a door that was completely shut, the round of humming and pages rustling inside.

The woman pushed the door open, letting Michael in to see a small brunet girl lying on her stomach on her bed, reading a book.

"There’s someone here to see you."

Her head lifted, and her eyes lit up at the sight of Michael.

"Hi."

He just smiled, and she sat up, looking him up and down.

"I like your shoes."

"Thank you."

"Darling, if you like him, he’s gonna adopt you once all the papers get filled out and filed, is that okay?"

"Yup."

The woman smiled, leaving and softly shutting the door. Michael sat next to the small girl, and she scrambled to sit in his lap. Michael just wrapped his arms around her, rocking her slightly without meaning to.

"I like you."

Michael grinned, rubbing her back.

"I haven’t even properly talked to you."

"Still. You’re big and warm and nice and cuddly."

"Thank you."

She smiled, patting his hand.

"What’s your name?"

"I’m Michael. Clifford."

"Like Clifford the Big Red Dog?"

"Exactly."

She grinned, handing him her book, which was a tattered copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

"Can you read this to me?"

"Of course."

Michael took it from her, and she settled back against his chest, opening it.

"From the beginning?"

"Yes please."

He rested his head on hers, beginning to read.

“‘Mr and Mrs Dursley of Number Four Privet Drive …’”

-:-:-:-:-

"And, this will be your room."

Michael opened the door, and the five year old ran in, flopping onto her large bed.

"So comfy."

She got up, tucking her teddy bear in and turning around to examine her bookcase. Michael had helped her quite a lot with her reading, so she was able to easily read the titles of the books. She got to the part where there was the box set of all seven Harry Potter books, as well as the extras, and she squealed, turning and running to her fathers, hugging them as hard as she could.

"I love you!"

Luke smiled, running his fingers through her hair.

"We love you too."

She smiled, bouncing on her toes. Ashton walked by, noticing the presence of a small child in the room, smiling.

"And who’s this?"

She huffed, moving between Luke’s legs to stand in front of him, her tiny fists on her hips.

"I’m Emily Hemmings thank you very much! And who might you be?”

Ashton just blinked, looking up at Luke and Michael, who were just trying to hold back laughs at her defensive stance.

"Damn."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

"Dad! Daddy! Dad! Daddy!"

Emily practically flew into Luke and Michael’s room, jumping onto their bed and landing on Luke’s stomach. Luke’s eyes flew open as the breath was knocked out of him, and he gently pushed her away.

"Can’t jump on me Emily."

"Sorry!"

She kissed Luke’s cheek before prodding Michael.

“‘M awake.”

"Barely."

"Put your sass away Missy."

She just giggled, and Michael sat up, pulling her into his lap.

"So why have you woken us up?"

"Can I dress up for Halloween?"

"Okay. What do you wanna be?"

"You could be a cute princess."

Luke smiled as he spoke, ticking Emily for a moment.

"No! I don’t wanna be a princess anyway."

"Then what do you wanna be?"

"A toaster."

"A…toaster?"

"And you guys can be my toast!"

Michael and Luke looked at each other in slight confusion.

"Uhm…"

"I don’t know…if we could actually…you know…make that Em."

"I was kidding. I wanna be Pikachu."

Michael grinned, squeezing his daughter.

"I love you."

"Dad. Can’t breathe."

Michael let her go, and she scrambled into Luke’s lap, clutching her sides.

"I am a fragile child, be gentle, I’m only five."

"Then stop acting older."

Emily pouted at her father before looking up at Luke.

"Can we have cupcakes for breakfast?"

"No, that’s not healthy."

"We’ve had pizza for dinner three days in a row now."

Michael crossed his arms, offended.

"What’s wrong with pizza?"

She shrugged.

"I just…I don’t like pizza very much."

Michael’s mouth fell open in horror, and he leant over, picking her up and placing her in a corner.

"Hey!"

"Timeout, Emily Hemmings!"

She huffed, crossing her arms and pouting at him.

"Put your lip back in your face."

Emily looked at Luke, who just found the situation quite funny.

"Daddy, save me."

"No can do."

Luke left the room, going into the kitchen to grab a cupcake, handing it to his daughter. Michael whined, wrapping his arms around Luke.

"Where’s my cupcake?”

"You are a grown ass man, go get your own damn cupcake Clifford."

"But-"

"No, Emily can’t even reach the cupcakes, get one yourself."

Emily giggled, and the two turned to see the small girl licking icing off her cupcake before biting it. She lifted her head, and Michael and Luke burst into laughter.

"What?"

The five year old had icing smeared across her cheeks and nose, but she was completely oblivious.

"What’s so funny?"

Luke smiled, picking her up.

"Let’s go get you cleaned up."

"Huh?"

"You’ve got cupcake face."

"Oh. Oops."

Michael smiled, following them. Luke had Emily sat on the bathroom sink, and was gently washing the cupcake icing off of her face with a damp washcloth.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you bald?"

Michael froze, but Luke only paused for a moment.

"I take medicine that makes my hair fall out, so I shave my head so it isn’t patchy and weird looking."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why d’you take medicine?"

Luke looked at Michael, biting his lip. Michael sighed.

"Right, Daddy’s sick, and the doctors can’t fix it but the medicine helps."

"Like, he has a fever? But forever?"

"No, like it makes it harder for him to breathe."

Emily looked at Luke in confusion.

"Breathing is easy though."

"Not for me all the time. Eventually, I’ll need a machine to help me breathe."

"But why?"

"Why am I sick?"

Emily nodded, and Luke sighed, picking her up and carrying her to the living room, sitting her on the couch.

"Emily, do you know what cancer is?"

"Yes."

"I have lung cancer."

Her face dropped, and she launched body off the couch, clinging to Luke and whispering.

"Please don’t die Daddy, I love you."

Luke crouched down, hugging her and rubbing her back soothingly.”

"I love you too Emily."

"Promise me you won’t leave me and Dad alone."

"Emi-"

"I don’t wanna be alone again!"

"Emily stop, you’re making this hard on-"

She wiggled out of his grasp, backing away from him. He went to reach out for her, but she just ran off to hr room. Look looked at Michael, clearly hurt.

"What did I do wrong? I tried…"

Michael patted Luke’s shoulder as Luke stood.

"I’ll go talk to her."

Luke shook his head.

"That’s my job, I’m the mum remember?"

Michael smiled slightly, and Luke went up to Emily’s door, gently knocking on it.

"Emily?"

"Go away Luke!”

Luke stepped back, almost hitting his head as he landed on the ground, quite dizzy. His eyes went wide as he gasped for breath, realising that he had been holding it since he had said Emily’s name, losing whatever remaining breath he had when she called him ‘Luke’ instead of ‘Daddy’. Michael ran up the stairs as Luke hit the ground, having been waiting at the bottom.

"Luke, are you okay?"

Luke nodded, pushing himself up into a proper sitting position. Michael marched over to Emily’s door, banging on it.

"EMILY CLAIRE HEMMINGS, YOU OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

The door slowly opened, and Emily’s face peeked out.

“What?”

Michael crouched down to her level, annoyed with her pissy attitude when she could clearly see Luke in a small bit of pain outside of her door.

"You do not run from your father like that and then tell him to go away when he’s talking to you, do you fucking hear me Missy?”

She nodded, tears coming into her eyes as she looked at Luke through Michael’s legs before looking back up at Michael, who was the most serious he had ever seemed.

"I’m sorry."

"Don’t apologise to me.”

He moved out of the way, and Emily walked over to Luke, sitting in his lap and hugging him, sobbing.

"I’m sorry Daddy!"

Luke just rubbed her back, holding her close.

"It’s okay. I’m not mad."

"You aren’t?"

"No."

He lifted her off of his lap, looking at Michael, who pulled him up, taking Emily’s hand as Luke leaned against him. Luke led them into his and Michael’s bedroom, sitting on the bed and digging through the drawer by his side until he pulled out a worn down pick that he had used for a while before he had punched a hole into it and fed a chain through the hole. He handed it to Michael, who bent down, slipping it down over Emily’s head. She lifted it, looking at it in confusion.

"What’s this?"

"A guitar pick that I used for a long time."

She smiled, climbing into the bed and hugging Luke.

"Thank you Daddy."

"Can I join the group cuddle?"

Emily held out her arm towards Michael, who immediately joined the hug, the three of them staying in bed and watching Disney movies for the rest of the day.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Michael suddenly jolted straight up from where he was laying in bed and shook Luke’s arm. Luke groaned, rolling over.

“No, Luke, stop that. We have a problem.”

 

“I’m not fucking you, I’m sleepy.”

“Not that. Right now anyway, maybe tomorrow. Christmas is in a few weeks.”

“Mmhm.”

“What the hell do we get our five year old daughter?”

Luke groaned, rolling into his pillow.

“She likes books and fluffy tutus, you know that.”

“Wait, really?”

“Mmhm. I’m going back to bed.”

Luke shoved his pillow over his head as Michael rolled out of bed, immediately going onto eBay to search for a few things.

-:-:-:-:-

Michael awoke to a gentle, but persistent tapping on his cheek. He groaned, rolling over to see his daughter kneeling on the edge of the bed, ready to tap him again. She grinned, whispering.

“Happy Christmas Dad.”

“What time is it?”

“Nine, I’ve been up for five hours.”

Michael nodded, and she slid off the bed so he could get up. He scooped the small girl up, carrying her into the living room.

“What about Daddy?”

“Let him sleep for a little, he’s tired.”

Emily nodded in understanding, tapping her foot for a moment as she thought.

“Okay, can we make him breakfast?”

Michael laughed, thinking of the small fire and mess that had happened when she and Luke had tried to make him breakfast on his nineteenth birthday. Emily had been covered head to toe in flour, and Luke had been surrounded by broken eggs as he started at the burning mess in horror.

“Well, we can try.”

After an hour, a pancake on the ceiling, eggs in Emily’s hair, and a broken plate nearly landing on Michael’s foot, Luke sleepily dragged himself into the kitchen.

“What smells like fire?”

Emily squeaked, and burnt toast flew out of the toaster. She looked at Michael mournfully, sitting in a pile of burnt toast.

“No go.”

Luke laughed, carefully making his way over to Emily, picking her up out of the toast pile.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? That way you’re more girl than egg.”

“Maybe I wanna be an egg.”

Luke snorted, carrying her towards the bathroom.

“Michael, you clean that up!”

Michael grumbled to himself, grabbing a broom to sweep up the burnt toast.

-:-:-:-:-

“Daddy, you never opened my present.”

Luke smiled as Emily pouted at him, her hands on her hips.

“You didn’t give it to me.”

“I did, it’s the little box.”

She pointed to a little, badly wrapped box next to Luke’s leg. He picked it up, carefully unwrapping it and opening the little jewelry box, smiling.

“We can match.”

She smiled, climbing onto his lap, beaming as he put on the necklace she had made with Michael’s help, which was a guitar pick on a chain, just like hers, only the guitar pick was unused and had ‘Daddy’ scribbled onto it. Luke hugged her, kissing the top of her head.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You get another present though.”

“What?”

She just grinned, jumping off his lap and running out of the room, sprinting back in with a box in her hand, handing it to Michael, who laughed.

“You didn’t have to run.”

“I’m excited.”

She patted Michael’s back, speaking seriously.

“Don’t choke.”

Luke laughed nervously, rubbing his hands on his knees.

“What’s going on?”

Emily held a finger to her mouth, hushing him.

“Don’t ruin it, he’s nervous anyway.”

“I am not!”

“Whatever you say Dad.”

Michael huffed, annoyed that his five year old daughter could tell so easily. Luke opened his mouth, only for Emily to glare at him. Michael stood, stepping towards Luke before clearing his throat and kneeling before the lanky boy that had a beanie snugly sitting atop his bald head. Luke noticed Emily running in small circles and squealing out of the corner of his eye, but chose to ignore it, now realising why Michael was so insistent on filming their first family Christmas.

“Luke, will you marry m-”

Luke practically flung himself at Michael, almost knocking him over as he buried his head in Michael’s neck, nodding so fast that Michael was half afraid that the younger boy would get whiplash.

“So that’s a yes?”

“Of course I’ll marry you.”

Michael grinned, hugging Luke as tightly as he dared to without hurting him. As soon as Michael got the ring on Luke’s finger, Luke grabbed his face, kissing him. Emily squealed before making a vaguely grossed out noise, a flash going off behind Michael and Luke’s eyes. After a few seconds, Luke rested his head on Michael’s shoulder again, taking a deep breath.

“Are you alright?”

Luke shook his head, mumbling.

“I think I’m gonna need an oxygen tank soon.”

Michael nodded slightly, rubbing his back as Emily bounced around the room, picking up pieces of wrapping paper and tossing them out before she plopped into Michael’s lap, between her two fathers.

“So now you two are gonna get married!”

Luke smiled, nodding before absentmindedly wondering if he’d even live long enough to get married. But then Michael said something about making a gingerbread house, and Emily was dragging him off to the kitchen, Michael holding his other hand, and Luke decided that he’d definitely live until his and Michael’s wedding day, just to make his daughter and new fiancé.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

“Daddy, what are you doing?”

Luke looked down to see Emily standing next to him, staring at the map on the wall in confusion. He lifted her up, kissing her cheek just to see her smile.

“I’m putting a tack on every country that I’ve been to, see? I put a bunch in the United States cos it’s so big, here’s Canada, England, and then Australia is here, but I’ve been doing the other ones first.”

“Can I help?”

Luke nodded, handing Emily a few tacks, showing her where to place them.

-:-:-:-:-

Emily stood on her toes to see over her fathers’ bed, patting Luke’s arm until his eyes opened.

“Daddy?”

Luke sighed softly, pushing himself up.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s a dead kid in my closet.”

Luke blinked, trying to make sense of her words.

“What?”

“There’s a dead kid in my closet. And he’s being annoying.”

Luke nodded, turning his head and prodding Michael’s chest, the older boy curled around a pillow to make up for Luke moving out of his arms.

“Mikey.”

“Sleep.”

“Right, well your father is being useless, how about we go see this dead kid?”

Emily nodded, standing and taking Luke’s hand as they walked through the house to her room.

“So...about this dead kid in your closet…”

“He keeps making noise and it’s really annoying.”

“How do you know it’s a dead kid?”

Emily was silent, and Luke smiled as they stepped into her room.

“You didn’t even look in your closet, did you?”

“Well I was having dreams that it was a dead kid.”

Luke just laughed, running his fingers through her hair.

“I’ll check for you, okay?”

She nodded, jumping onto her bed and hiding under her blankets, pulling them up to her eyes.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

Luke shook his head, turning towards the closet door, stepping back slightly as there was scratching at the inside of it. He pulled it open, and sighed, turning towards his daughter, who had pulled her blanket all the way over her head.

“Emily.”

“The number you have tried to dial cannot be reached, please try again later.”

“Emily.”

Her eyes popped out of the blanket.

“Yes Daddy?”

“Don’t take that innocent tone with me. Why is there a kitten in your closet?”

“Surprise?”

“Goddamn it Emily. Where did you even get it?”

She huffed, rolling out of bed and going into her closet, carefully lifting the tiny, fluffy animal and sitting on the floor, petting it.

“You know, I thought this would go over a lot smoother if you saw a cute kitty instead of some dead kid. And he was crawling around on the side of the road and I didn’t want him to get hit, I put up some posters, but no one lost a kitty, so I just took care of her.”

“You know we can’t keep it, right?”

Emily looked up at Luke in shock.

“What? Why not?”

“We don’t have the time to take care of a kitten.”

“I’ve been taking care of her just fine, look, she has food and a bed and a litterbox and water and I play with her and clean her and read to her.”

“Emily, you’re five years old-”

“I turn six in two months!”

“That doesn’t matter.”

Emily’s lip trembled as the kitten mewed and crawled around her lap.

“But...If I’m unfit to care for her, how are you fit to care for me?”

Luke crossed his arms.

“Emily. You have two parents, several uncles, and grandparents to help, even after I die. You are one person to care for another life.”

“Dad will help.”

“That’s because your dad likes cats.”

“So why can’t I keep her?”

“Well, first off, because you didn’t tell us you had a cat in your closet, and second, because of everything I just said.”

Emily frowned and got up, running out of the room with her kitten in her arms. Luke followed her to see her sitting on his and Michael’s bed, showing Michael the small fluffy thing she was carrying. And so, Luke lost the kitten battle, and a small fluffball now lived in their house.

-:-:-:-:-

“I can’t believe you let her keep it.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t want to, look at her face!”

Michael picked up the fluffball, now named Cassandra, holding her in Luke’s face. Cassandra mewed at him, batting a paw towards him.

“I wish we got a dog.”

Michael gasped, holding Cassandra to his chest.

“How dare you, bad Ditto!”

Michael flicked Luke’s arm, and Luke flicked him back. Michael handed Cassandra to him, and Luke stared at the kitten in his hands.

“You know, I planned to have a few kids and a spouse in my life. This is not how I meant for things to happen, like engaged to my best friend with a daughter, that’s fine, and I can deal with the terminal cancer, but this. You fluffy monster. You just keep shedding everywhere. All over my clothes. You have white fur missy, and I wear black. How dare you?”

Cassandra just mewed again, putting her paw over Luke’s mouth. Luke smiled slightly.

“Yes, shut up Luke, I know. You are just like Michael.”

 

 


	16. Chapter XVI

"You ready to go?"

Emily's head popped out through her door.

"Almost, I need to get dressed."

Michael shook his head as he left the hall by her room, walking over to where Luke was sitting in the living room, fiddling with the tubes directing oxygen from his tank to his nose.

"She's changed three times now."

Luke laughed, standing and kissing Michael.

"She's your daughter."

"What does that mean?"

Luke just smiled, walking towards Emily as she came down, pulling along a bag. He took her hand, leading her out to the car as Michael followed, confused.

"Luke, what does that mean?"

-:-:-:-:-

"Calum!"

"Hello Miss Hemmings."

Emily beamed as Calum crouched to hug her before lifting her up. Luke just smiled before he and Michael left for their Valentine's Day date at home. Calum had offered to watch Emily for the night so that the two could be alone as a couple, and Emily has ecstatically latched onto the idea.

"So what would you like to do little lady?"

"Can we watch a movie?"

"Alright, what should we watch?"

"Hercules!"

Calum smiled, plopping her down onto the couch.

"You find the movie, and I'll get us food, okay?"

-:-:-:-:-

"So why'd you insist on leaving her with Calum instead of one of our parents?"

"You'll find out tomorrow."

Michael shook his head, getting up to throw the pizza box in front of them away.

"You're someone I will never understand, you know that?"

Luke laughed, raising his voice as Michael walked into the kitchen.

"What isn't to understand, I'm an eighteen year old blond Australian boy with cancer that you're engaged to and decided to raise a kid with."

Michael smiled, sitting next to Luke and laying his head on Luke's shoulder, looking up at him.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, you know that?"

Luke smiled, taking Michael's hand and squeezing it.

"Hey, I'm not dead yet, you realise that? Still alive and breathing, just with a little help."

Michael smiled, wrapping his arms around Luke and squeezing him slightly.

"I love you."

Luke shifted slightly.

"Michael..."

"I know you hate when I say it to you, but it's Valentine's Day, just let me tell you I love you dammit."

Luke just sighed softly and kissed the top of Michael's head.

"As you wish."

-:-:-:-:-

"Don't you think you should head off to bed now?"

Emily shook her head, swaying back and forth to the tune of "Be Prepared".

"It's only nine."

"You're also only five years old."

"I have a kitten."

"So?"

Emily huffed, turning to look at him.

" _So_ , Dad said I'm a responsible lady."

Calum sighed, still confused.

"I don't see your point."

"It means I can make decisions for myself and Cassandra, like an adult."

Calum just laughed, patting her head.

"If you say so Miss Hemmings."

Emily just flopped over slightly so that she was leaning against him. After a few minutes she looked up at him.

"I made you something, do you want it?"

"Of course."

Emily bolted up from the couch and away to her bag as Scar let go of Mufasa. She came back, clutching an envelope, which she handed to him, sitting almost in his lap.

Calum opened it, taking out the handmade card that had ' _Happy Valentine's Day_ ' and many hearts scribbled onto it. He opened it, seeing a picture of a big stick figure holding a small stick figure's hand, labeled as 'Calum and Emily'. He smiled before noticing the writing on the opposite page.

' _Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue._

_Your butt is cute,_

_And so are you._ '

Calum coughed to hide his laughter as Emily was clearly very nervous about his reaction.

"Em..."

"Yes?"

"Why did you write a poem about my, uh,  _butt_?"

Emily's voice wobbled as she spoke, and Calum became worried that she might cry.

"Daddy told me that it was funny and that you'd like it, do you not like it, I'm sorry-"

Calum hushed her, smiling.

"It's fine, calm down."

Emily nodded, sitting on his lap and hugging him.

-:-:-:-:-

"So how was your adult alonetime for Valentine's Day?"

Luke just shook his head, walking into Calum's house, dragging along his oxygen tank and sitting on the couch, kicking the tank, clearly grumpy.

"He's convinced that he ruined last night no matter what I tell him."

"Why?"

Michael just sighed, staring at his fiancé, who was twisting his ring around on his finger, grumbling to himself. He turned back towards Calum.

"We were about to take advantage of being alone, and he started coughing up blood again, so that didn't happen, and no amount of cuddles could convince him that I don't give two shits about getting laid as long as he's okay. But he's upset that he couldn't be normal and have Valentine's Day sex, so he's pissed at himself for having cancer."

"Well, how's he feeling?"

"He won't tell me, and it's fucking scary, how am I supposed to help when he won't tell me if he's getting worse or not?"

"He is an adult."

Michael huffed.

"I'm supposed to take care of him."

Calum just nodded, resting his arm on Michael's shoulder, steering the conversation into a more lighthearted subject so he didn't have to deal with Michael becoming over-worried on top of Luke being grumpy and a five year old with a huge crush.

"Emily wrote me a poem about my ass."

"Jesus."

"Luke said it was funny and that I'd like it."

Michael looked at Calum, smiling.

"Did you?"

Calum laughed.

"Oh, it was fucking hilarious."

"You couldn't turn down a five year old girl, could you?"

Calum shook his head.

"She looked like she'd cry if I said that it was inappropriate."

"Lovely. She's been helping Luke with songwriting, was the poem any good?"

Calum just laughed again as Emily came into the living room and immediately offered Luke a cookie and told him to stop grumping.

"Ask her to recite it to you, it's great."


	17. Chapter Seventeen

“Daddy, why are we bringing pillows and blankets down here? Is this part of the wedding?”

Luke smiled as Emily dragged her pillows behind herself as she walked down the stairs, Michael behind her with probably twenty blankets, some of which had been dragged down from the attic.

“No, we’re gonna have a movie night.”

“Is Calum coming?”

“No, this is for the three of us.”  
Emily nodded, and as Luke got himself situated in front of the television, on several blankets with his oxygen tank a few feet away, Emily and Michael began the process of transforming the entire living room into a blanket fort, the blankets falling down on top of Luke’s head several times. Eventually, Michael just took over, placing his daughter on movie duty, the six year old happily dashing over to the movie case to grab her vast collection of animated - mostly Disney - movies, which had only been expanded since her birthday on March twelfth.

“So, Miss Emily, which movie first?”

Emily looked at Luke like he was insane before spreading out her movies in front of her parents, sitting down.

“You’re the two getting married tomorrow, you choose.”

Michael smiled, looking at Luke, nudging him.

“C’mon Ditto, which one?”

Luke just laughed, pretending to think deeply as Emily patiently waited.

“I dunno, what’s your expert opinion Miss Hemmings?”

After several minutes of debate between the small family, Monsters Inc was playing, and they were all snuggled together in a ball, Emily between the soon-to-be-newlyweds. Eventually, they just fell asleep in the middle of The Little Mermaid, Luke’s lanky body wrapped around the other two members of his family.

-:-:-:-:-

“Dad, can I go swim in the pool? We’ve been here for ages.”

Michael smiled as Emily whined up at him, but he could see why she was so bored, they were at a hotel for the wedding, and she had absolutely nothing to do while he and Luke prepared the decorations, although Luke was taking a break.

“Yeah, sure, go get your bathing suit. It’s in your bag, right?”

“Mmhm. Thank you!”

Michael kissed the top of her head, and she dashed over to her bag, pulling out her bathing suit and heading towards the bathroom to change. Luke got up, stretching and walking over to Michael, dragging his tank behind him like always.

“I’ll watch her, I wanna get outside anyway. It’s kinda stuffy in here, it makes me feel off.”

“Well be careful then.”

Luke smiled, kissing Michael.

“I’m a grown man Clifford, don’t worry about me. At worst, you’ll have a slightly sunburnt husband by the time it’s time for the ceremony.”

“Fine. Wear some sunblock then.”

Luke just laughed, shaking his head.

“You worry too much Michael.”

Michael just smiled, kissing Luke just as Emily emerged and took Luke’s hand, pulling him along outside. Emily handed her towel and guitar pick necklace to Luke and immediately made for the pool, going down the stairs and dog paddling around the shallow end, as Michael, Calum, and Ashton were still trying to teach her how to swim properly.

“It’s nice out here.”

Luke nodded, sitting on a chair by the side of the pool, taking out his phone and holding it up.

“Smile for the camera Em.”

Emily let out a great beaming grin, the hole where she had just lost a tooth clearly visible. Luke smiled, taking the picture before standing and crouching by the pool. Emily boosted herself up, kissing his cheek so he could take another picture. He kissed her forehead before going back to his spot, setting his phone down on the table by to the chair, next to Emily’s necklace and watching her retrieve random things from the bottom of the pool.

“I found a deflated floatie.”

He laughed as she set it down on the side, frowning as it promptly slid off and fell back into the water. She sighed, throwing her hands into the air dramatically.

“Fine, I’ll rescue it again.”

She dove down under the water, and Luke tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for her to come back up, as he always did. Once her soaked head popped back up, he breathed a sigh of relief as she tossed the limp plastic tube out of the water.

“Alright, get back over to the shallow end.”

Emily slowly turned around, noticing that she was quite far past the rope, and froze.

“Emily?”

She began flailing her arms, now bobbing up and down as she splashed the water, clearly panicking.

“Daddy I can’t swim!”

“You got over there, you can get back, calm down, it’s okay.”

“No, I can’t swim, I’m stuck out here, Daddy!”

The more she panicked the further down she sank under the water as she used up her energy flailing, and Luke began freaking out as she disappeared under the water, clearly now freaking out even more. He shot a quick look towards the door and then at the pool before springing to his feet and tearing the tubes out of his nose, taking a breath and jumping into the pool, swimming as fast as he could towards Emily and wrapping his arms around her.

He was carrying her back up to the surface as his vision began getting dark and he could hear his heartbeat, deafeningly loud in his ears as he kicked harder to move faster, immediately tossing Emily out of the pool, pulling himself halfway out and gasping for air before his arms failed and he fell back in, choking on water as he fell halfway down through the pool, fighting to get back up as the bottom got closer than the top, seeing another body splash down towards him.

Luke’s vision went black as he fought for air, still under water just as Michael’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him back up to the surface and immediately hooking him back up to the oxygen tank, Emily nervously hopping up and down and babbling as she spoke rapidly on Luke’s phone.

 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Luke woke up to a terrible burning sensation every time he took a breath, and he put his hand over his mouth and nose, feeling for the tubes that delivered oxygen to his lungs, only to find that they were falling. He shoved them back into their normal place, dropping his hand as it became slightly easier to breathe, although he still felt exhausted beyond belief.

 

 

He could tell he was in a hospital, even with his eyes shut, just by the smell and atmosphere. He’d been in one far too often over the past almost two years to not recognise it. The door opened, and he heard Emily’s voice, very soft, almost like it was at the end of a tunnel.

“Is Daddy okay?”

“I don’t know.”

Luke opened his eyes, blinking repeatedly to focus his vision before reaching out his hand towards Michael and Emily.

“C’mere.”

Michael sighed softly, clearly relieved as he set Emily down in the more comfortable of the chairs by Luke’s bed, the six year old’s face tear stained as she scooted closer to Luke.

“Daddy, I’m sorry. I’m gonna learn how to swim better for you, okay?”

Luke just smiled, wiping away the tears that remained on her cheeks.

“It’s fine, I’m supposed to take care of you no matter what. Better me getting hurt than you.”

“Your parents and brothers and Calum and Ashton are on their way. Are you okay?”

Instead of responding, Luke turned his head towards Emily.

“How about you go wash those tears off your pretty face? It’ll help you feel better.”

She nodded, scooting off her chair and heading towards the bathroom. As soon as the door shut behind her, Luke looked back at Michael, speaking softly.

“I feel fucking awful, I can’t breathe without it burning, my hearing is shit for some reason, and everything looks all fuzzy and I don’t know what’s going on and it’s scary.”

Michael suddenly looked alarmed and turned his head towards the hallway.

“I could go get a doc-”

“No!”

Luke grabbed Michael’s arm, sounding panicked.

“Don’t you dare leave me.”

Michael sighed, moving his hand to squeeze Luke’s.

“What if you aren’t okay?”

“I know I’m not, I have lung cancer and I swallowed loads of water, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happening.”

“You just said you didn’t kn-”

“I can’t think straight.”

Michael smiled slightly, trying to lighten the atmosphere with a joke.

“You aren’t straight.”

“Neither are you, c’mere moron.”

Luke pulled Michael down for a kiss, forcing himself into a sitting position, trying to ignore the massive headache that the new position suddenly caused him.

“I’m sorry I ruined our wedding day.”

Michael scooted his chair closer to the hospital bed, resting his head on Luke’s shoulder.

“If it means anything, I’ve been thinking of you as my husband for preparation for the past week.”

Luke smiled, running his fingers through Michael’s hair.

“Of course it means something.”

Michael smiled, rubbing his cheek against Luke’s shoulder for a moment.

“Are you scared?”

“Of course. I need to lay down.”

Michael lifted his head, watching Luke as he laid back down, running a hand over his smooth head, sighing softly.

“We never did get wigs.”

Michael laughed, and Luke grinned at him before looking up at the ceiling.

“See, now you can have some great eulogy,  _‘_ _Luke Clifford, previously Hemmings, was a tall, musical moron that made stupid jokes even on his deathbed. He was also excellent in bed._ ’”

“Luke!”

Luke smiled softly, closing his eyes.

“I am.”

“I know.”

The bathroom door opened, and Emily came out, getting back into her chair, reaching out for Luke’s hand. He looked over and took her hand in his, smiling.

“I love you Miss Emily.”

The small girl began crying again, and Michael wordlessly wiped away her tears, moving to sit in her chair and hold her in his lap to rub her back.

“Sh, calm down, it’s okay.”

She buried her face in Michael’s chest, and Michael looked at Luke to see him wiping his own tears away at seeing his daughter cry. Michael kissed the top of Emily’s head, letting her sob into his shirt while he rocked her, fighting his own tears. Luke was on Death’s doorstep and Emily was crying an ocean, he needed to be the strong one, for both of them.

“Michael?”

Michael lifted his head to look at Luke, fighting away the thoughts of ‘ _look how pale he is_ ’, ‘ _he looks frail enough to break_ ’, ‘ _not much longer now_ ’.

“Yeah?”

“Michael Clifford. I love you.”

Michael smiled at finally hearing those words, his smile dropping as Luke’s heart monitor flatlined. He just buried his face in Emily’s hair, closing his eyes and mumbling softly.

“I love you too, Ditto.”


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is the last actual chapter. All that's left is Alternate Endings...wow

It was a week after the funeral that Michael found Luke’s complete bucket list. Apparently, the one in the living room was only part of it.

Michael had been looking through the drawer on what had been Luke’s side of the bed, trying to find a pen so he could label a last minute present for Emily, when he had come upon a piece of notebook paper that had clearly been folded several times, but was relatively well taken care of. So he sat on the floor and unfolded it, wincing slightly at seeing Luke’s handwriting on the page. And then he noticed that despite the heading on the paper - ‘The Bucket List of Lucas Hemmings’, the list was longer. So, he read it.

  * ‘ ~~ _spend night on the beach_~~

  * ~~_turn entire living room into a blanket fort and have a movie night_~~

  * ~~_sing a song with All Time Low_~~

  * ~~_play a show with ATL_~~

  * ~~_lose virginity_~~

  * ~~_kiss a guy_~~

  * ~~_get a giant stuffed animal from a fair/carnival_~~

  * ~~_get a map and put a tack on every country I've been_~~

  * _cover as much of the map with tacks as possible_

  * ~~_have a kid, adopted or not_~~

  * ~~_come out as bi_~~

  * ~~_make enough music to keep gradually releasing some for a long time even after I die_~~

  * _tell Michael Clifford I love him_ ’




The bottom item stood out to Michael, and he read it over and over, sighing softly as he realised that Luke had been writing this the day that he had been diagnosed, when any of them could have pretended everything was normal, when they could still play shows because Luke could take the high energy and sing while playing the guitar at the same time while bouncing around onstage.

But shortly after they got together, it was too much and the band was reduced to calmer acoustic shows for a while and then just nothing aside from occasionally releasing a song.

Michael took a pen out of the drawer and slowly put a check mark next to the last item on the list, not being able to cross out something to do with Luke.

The sound of a door opening and small, bare feet pitter pattering their way to the bathroom made Michael rise to his feet and dash into Emily’s room. She had kept herself locked away in her bedroom, only coming out to go to the bathroom when no one was around, and refusing to speak whenever Michael brought her food and had to beg her to eat it. He sat down on the side of her bed, resting his head on his knees and sighing.

The small, bare feet pitter pattered back into the bedroom, and the door shut again, the lock clicking. The blankets shifted as Emily crawled under them, and Michael lifted his head, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Emily.”

She just pulled the blanket over her head, curling up. Michael sighed, tugging the blanket off of her, his heart breaking a little when he found that she was curled into a ball, wearing Luke’s shirt, her fists tight in it. That would explain where half of Luke’s clothes went though, they were scattered across Emily’s bed.

“Em, you know you can’t hoard Daddy’s stuff in here, right?”

She didn’t respond, and Michael frowned, scooping her up into his lap. The six year old just flopped against his chest, and he sat her up, frowning harder.

“C’mon, you’re six years old, you know how to sit up, don’t do that.”

Emily wordlessly sat up, but kept her head laid against Michael’s chest as he rubbed her back, Cassandra moving to curl into her lap.

“I miss him too, you know. I hated him for a solid year. I wish I didn’t, that would have been a year more with him.”

“I killed my Daddy.”

Michael noticed her fingers curl into Cassandra’s fur before she lifted the cat up to her chest, rubbing her cheek against the soft white fur. His heart broke as he put her words together with the fact that she had been locking herself in her room since December 12th.

“No, Emily. No, no you didn’t.”

“He’s dead because of me.”

Michael held her tighter, resting his cheek against her head.

“He’s dead because the cancer made him too weak to pull himself up from the pool. Daddy would have been perfectly fine, and then he would have taught you to swim after making sure you were okay. Blame the cancer, not yourself.”

“I decided to go swimming though, he didn’t decide to have cancer.”

Michael closed his eyes for a moment, turning her in his lap to face him.

“He decided to watch you instead of having me do it though. It was the cancer, not you. Don’t ever think you’re the problem for him not being around anymore, okay? Especially since Christmas is three days away and you’re gonna get presents from him.”

Emily went stiff for a moment before breaking down into tears, squashing her face into Michael’s chest, Cassandra leaping from her arms and curling up at the foot of the bed to avoid the little girl squeezing her too hard.

Michael almost sighed in relief at her finally crying, as he hadn’t heard her cry since they were at the hospital, and everyone was a bit concerned at the fact that she had remained emotionless and refused to talk. Not even Calum could get her to talk, and Michael had been so concerned about his daughter that he didn’t give himself time to grieve, instead sitting outside of her bedroom and listening, just in case.

“It’s okay, cry until you feel better.”

She just clung to him, sobbing for at least an hour as Michael just held her and hummed, letting her know that it was okay to cry every time she apologised.

-:-:-:-:-

It was about three in the morning when Michael awoke to the sound of something being dragged across the floor downstairs. So he dragged himself out of bed to see what Emily was doing, as she had already eaten the cookies in the cabinet while they were sitting down and having a serious discussion about Luke’s death not being her fault over cups of chocolate milk. But when he walked into the kitchen, she wasn’t there.

“Emily?”

There was the sound of something scattering on the floor in the living room, and he had to fight from laughing as he heard Emily mutter something under her breath.

“Ah, shitnuggets.”

“Language, little girl.”

She turned as he walked into the living room, bending down to help her pick the tacks up off of the floor, placing them back into the little mounted cup by the map Luke had put up back in January.

“ _You_  can’t be mad at me for swearing.”

Michael smiled as she climbed back into the chair she had dragged in from the kitchen.

“True. So what are you doing?”

“Helping to finish Daddy’s bucket list. I mean, I helped some with the music part, although he said you’re gonna have to take care of that.”

Emily went back to randomly pushing tacks into the map, and Michael tilted his head slightly as he leaned against the wall.

“What do you mean you helped with the music part? Is that where he always took you?”

Emily nodded, reaching for more tacks, pressing more into South America.

“Yup, we’d go somewhere and write songs or I’d listen to him record them. Sometimes he’d let me sing, and he said he liked those songs the best. But then sometimes he’d just stand there and talk to the microphone, and he told me that they were supposed to be like audiobooks, and then he bought me an audiobook for Charlotte’s Web. I like reading more though.”

Michael simply nodded, thinking as he began to help his daughter fill up the map with the multi coloured tacks.

“Do you know what he did with them?”

“Yeah. I’m supposed to give them out, he put them in my closet and labelled who each one goes to, but I was too scared to touch them. Do you think they’d be good Christmas presents?”

Michael just sat down, closing his eyes, trying to comprehend the fact that he’d be able to hear Luke talking, and saying something new, rather than just laying in their room rewatching interviews and dumb little videos of Luke or calling his voicemail.

“Dad?”

“I’m fine.”

Emily slid off her chair, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him as hard as she could. Michael simply buried his face in his knees, shaking his head.

“Give me a second to man up.”

“You told me it was okay to cry though.”

And like that, a mental dam was broken, and Michael began hysterically crying as his six year old daughter leaned against him, her small hand against his back as she tried to replicate his comforting by humming as he finally let go of his self control after almost twelve days. Once he relaxed, she pulled the sleeve of her pajamas over her hand and wiped at his cheeks, climbing into his lap to hug him. And then she slipped off the guitar pick necklace Luke had given her and placed it around his neck, kissing his cheek.

“If I make my own bucket list, will you help me finish it?”

Michael nodded, resting his head on Emily’s as she snuggled into his chest like a koala.

“I’ll make sure you get it all done. All of it.”


	20. Alternate Ending One

Luke awoke with a start, gasping for air and putting his hand over his chest.

“Holy Christ.”

His hand slowly crept up to his face, and he marveled for a moment at the lack of tubes going into his nose. His head turned to the side to see Michael curled up in a ball, fast asleep. Luke looked down at his hand, slowly twisting the ring around his finger before he stood, slowly wandering through the house.

“Daddy?”

Luke turned to see Emily standing in the kitchen hallway behind him as he stared at the framed picture of him covering his mouth with Michael down on one knee in front of him.

“Yes, Emily?”

“Daddy, why are you crying?”

Luke just smiled, picking her up and heading back towards her bedroom.

“I just had a...bad dream, that’s all.”

“Okay. You’re gonna be okay for the wedding tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

Emily yawned softly, resting her head on his shoulder as he nudged her bedroom door open, carefully walking around the stacks of books placed around the room.

“Can you tell me about your dream?”

“Maybe tomorrow. How about a chapter instead?”

She nodded enthusiastically, and Luke smiled, picking Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire up from the foot of her bed, where Michael had left it when he had tucked her in.

“‘ _Chapter Twenty: The First Task. Harry got up on Sunday morning..._ ’”

**-:-:-:-:-**

“Are you just telling me this to get out of marrying me?”

Luke rolled his eyes, flicking the side of Michael’s head.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“No, seriously. For all I know you’re just telling me that if we get married, you die and I raise a depressed six year old.”

“Shut up, she’s right there.”

“She’s also asleep because  _someone_  decided to have a discussion with her about dragons at three in the morning.”

Luke feigned innocence, looking around the room.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about, was it Ashton?”

“Clearly.”

Ashton walked by with a bouquet in his hand, clearly curious.

“Who said my name and dragons?”

“You have to fight a dragon.”

“Brilliant, I’ll fend it off with these roses.”

Ashton waved the flowers in Michael’s face before scooping Emily up.

“Alright, she’s gotta get dressed, ceremony’s in half an hour.”

Luke took her from Ashton, gently bouncing her awake.

“Rise and shine, little girl.”

“I have a kitty, I’m not little.”

Michael just laughed as she protested while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her still chubby hands.

“Sure you are, now let’s go get you dressed, okay?”

She nodded, and Luke set her down. She reached for Michael’s hand, and he led her away into the room where her little dress was laid out.

As Luke waited for them to come back, he leant back against a wall, closing his eyes as he thought back on his dream. Death...imminent death at that...it hadn’t been something Luke had ever given that much thought to. And now that he had dreamt of it in such explicit detail - with the physical and emotional slowly dying and then just suddenly being taken away from life - he wanted no part of it, not for several decades yet.

Which is why he was immensely relieved to get through the day, alive, happy, and now married to one of his best friends with their daughter beside him. Which was just the most perfect life Luke could hope for.


End file.
